HF is one bad mutha. He's taken down Irish terrorists, drug kingpins, kicked a bunch of Eastern European terrorists off Air Force One, and in arguably one of his best performances, tracked down the one-armed man who killed his wife. You don't kill HF's wife and get away with it! Sure that film was a pure genius combo of TLJ and a pissed off HF, but you gotta know better - HF will come down on you if you fuck with his family! You'd think the bad guys would figure that out by now. WTF? Let me think back, terrorists tired to kill his family in Patriot Games. Dead. In Air Force One, terrorists threatened to kill his wife and daughter. Dead. A one armed guy (w/an awesome fro) killed his wife, and blamed him for it! Dead. The Nazis messed with his Dad. Dead. 
So when I heard about HF's new masterpiece (coming soon to a theater near you) I thought, no way, not another douche trying to use HF's family to get what they want! They have to have seen some of his movies, HF is like 80 or something and even though he's got a goatee and an earring, he's still dangerous. Really dangerous. Well I guess sitting down for 60 to see how they're going to die wasn't really worth their time. Get this, they take HF's family hostage (bad move #1) in an attempt to get HF to help them break into a bank that he helped design the security for! OMG! That's basically suicide dude. Those boys are in for one serious ass beating, and I can't wait to plunk down my $10 to watch 'em take it. Go HF!
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I can only think of Dan when I see the picture of the one armed man. That is great. This is a classic. But let's not forget what happened to those that fucked with HF as Han Solo, Jaba the Hut? I think his hover plane went into the mouth of that thing in the desert, but I cant remember. Good thing he has Calista at home eating rice cakes and suppositories, to mend his wounds. This guy to totally kick Chuck Norris' ass but he would get beat down for a while and then get pissed.
Posted by: D-town | February 10, 2006 at 05:00 PM