The Stinkeye

What else could bring me outa hiding?

On Monday America's pastime was renewed once again.  One could argue the game has changed quite a bit with those bulging biceps and overgrown foreheads, but it's back and I can't help getting excited about the possibilities.  Yes, the end of the NCAA bball tourney was hard to take, especially with that Noah clown, but where there once was a void is now filled with hardball.

As the season kicks off and my favorite show steps it up, I was amazed to notice that on ESPN highlights they needed to put "same face/different place" on clips to make sure people kept up with who was now on which team.  Baseball is probably the most difficult sport to keep up with in terms of players moving and free agency, and I think this hurts its ability to build loyal fans like the NFL has.  The result is a game that people go to watch for the jumbotron giveaways vs. the interplay between the pitch selection/defensive shifts and scouting reports.  Ugh.

As we move through the season, the one theme I can tell will be part of this blog is the Bonds/steroid situation.  As the investigation continues I wonder if Bonds has an adequate escape plan that will allow him to avoid full disclosure before he's forced to just retire.  ESPN is running a weekly series now called "Bonds on Bonds" that gives him the opportunity to tell his story, in his own words.  Amazing.  The guy that won't talk to the media, is hated by many in and outside baseball, gets the ability to address the nation on a weekly basis.  Shows who's really running this thing.  My prediction?  He breaks the record, gets the asterisk and gets booed at the Hall of Fame.

OUT.

Funny, no one talks about this...

After doing a little research on Wikipedia, I found out the Wonderlic test - what Vince Young (soon to be #1 pick in the NFL draft) scored at 6 & a 16 on during the combine this year, has been used since the 70s to gage the intelligence of prospects entering the league.  Owners are smarter than I thought.  I guess for someone with average intelligence, the score is 20.  Read more here about Vince and his smartness.

Tastes like chicken.

How do you think you'll go?  Peacefully in your sleep?  In a bizzare freak accident?  Well, one thing you can probably eliminate off that list is being eaten by a Grizzly.  The funny thing is Tim Tredwell (star of the documentary Grizzly Man) who lived with bears in Alaska for over 13 years thought the same thing.  It turned out he was wrong.

Living in the NW and having brief experience traveling in Alaska gives you the distinct understanding that those who live/grew up in Alaska are fully plugged into the ways of nature.  What I mean to say is, their eyes are wide open to the realities - no mater how beautiful or brutal they might be.  They have a deep respect for nature, even when they need to use if for their benefit. It's that type of understanding that I think Tim Tredwell sorely missed during his adventure in the Alaskan bush "protecting" the bears (not these bears).  He was for sure deft in his approach and developed a sense of living with the bears that was unique, but when it came down to it, he was one step too low on the food chain weeks before hibernation.

If you've seen the film, I'd love to know what you think since there seems to be two distinct groups after viewing it - those who think he had a death wish and got what was inevitable, and those who think it was a bad bear attacking someone who had become a bear himself. 

Tour of CA?

I'm not sure if more than 5 people have realized it, but the US is staging another world class cycling event, this time on the west coast.  The Tour of GA has been a highly regarded race for a number of years, drawing the best riders and teams from around the world.  This new race is in addition to the  Grand Prix of San Francisco, and is called the Tour of California.  The event has many different story lines that will make this post worth your time to read.

1) The ride is sponsored by Amgen, the company that makes the stuff used to blood dope - which is the biggest issue surrounding pro cycling.  Don't know what blood doping is?  Check this out.  There seems to be some sort of sweet irony about a company sponsoring a cycling race they potentially make invalid through the use of their drugs.
2) This is one of the first major multi-stage races sans Lance.  Will cycling still receive its 2 min of coverage on Sportscenter without him?  Will another superstar singer decide to start dating the new leader of Team Discovery Channel, George Hincapie?
3) On the political front, will CA's staging of the national sport of France make them perceived further to the left?  Does anyone care?
4) Will Kerry ride as the master of ceremonies on one of his eight $10,000 bikes?

If you get the chance, tune in or TIVO the coverage on OLN, it'll be worth your time.  And if you're anywhere near the race route, make sure and go take a look - pro cycling will blow your mind when you see how easy they make it all look.

Never say never, I guess

I said I wouldn't do it, but my dreams came true in Turin.  You can read about it here.

Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth.

You probably did too if you saw the spectacle on the Today Show this morning.  This show is not immune to parading their jounaltainment anchors out there to make asses out of themselves, but I think they finally topped Matt dressed in drag for halloween - Al and Matt in sausage casings on a luge sled. 

First, I want to know where they found a casing for Al, since they most likely had to cut it off him after the segment.  Have you ever seen sausage made by hand?  I'm guessing that's what it looked like for the PAs that had to get him into that suit.  Matt, on the other hand, thought he was looking pretty good.  He did the rest of the segment with his leg up on the side of the rink.  Meanwhile you've got Katie Couric in some other Italian city shaking her head in her D&G coat because those guys are "just so crazy!"  What a freaking train wreck.  I would recommend setting your TIVO now just in case they do ski jumping tomorrow.

The one and only time I will post about figure skating!

Michelle Kwan, you suck.  What's up with taking a spot on the Olympic team and not having enough balls to skate it out - even if you didn't feel good enough to win the gold, for once.  You bought yourself more time in hopes you could heal before you had to take the stage again (and choke), but in reality you couldn't pull it together.  I give you a big wag o' the finger for that one.

On a parallel note, the ONLY reason for watching figure skating is to see if someone catches a toe spike and takes a digger into the boards.  Seriously.  Have you ever seen this happen?  It's unbelievable, and they should make a dvd of the best falls (like the best hockey fights) set to something from U2 or Greenday, of course.  That's my Olympic dream.

America needs to stop fucking with Harrison Ford!

HF is one bad mutha.  He's taken down Irish terrorists, drug kingpins, kicked a bunch of Eastern European terrorists off  Air Force One, and in arguably one of his best performances, tracked down the one-armed man who killed his wife.  You don't kill HF's wife and get away with it!  Sure that film was a pure genius combo of TLJ and a pissed off HF, but you gotta know better - HF will come down on you if you fuck with his family!  You'd think the bad guys would figure that out by now.  WTF?  Let me think back, terrorists tired to kill his family in Patriot Games.  Dead.  In Air Force One, terrorists threatened to kill his wife and daughter.  Dead.  A one armed guy (w/an awesome fro) killed his wife, and blamed him for it! Dead.  The Nazis messed with his Dad.  Dead.

So when I heard about HF's new masterpiece (coming soon to a theater near you) I thought, no way, not another douche trying to use HF's family to get what they want!  They have to have seen some of his movies, HF is like 80 or something and even though he's got a goatee and an earring, he's still dangerous.  Really dangerous.  Well I guess sitting down for 60 to see how they're going to die wasn't really worth their time.  Get this, they take HF's family hostage (bad move #1) in an attempt to get HF to help them break into a bank that he helped design the security for!  OMG!  That's basically suicide dude.  Those boys are in for one serious ass beating, and I can't wait to plunk down my $10 to watch 'em take it.  Go HF!

Seattle reaches new level of depression.

As you know, Seattle is thought to be the suicide capital of the nation - no doubt solidified by one Kurt C.  The 27 straight days of rain, followed by landslides and a city full of ghost-like people almost topped me, but what happened on Sunday has pushed the city to a dark place few knew was even possible. 

After 30+ years, the city known more for coffee and flying fish than sports found itself exposed to the world.  No longer could it sit back and hide in the rain.  People were asking questions like, "is grunge still around?" and "what's up with the space needle thing? isn't it just a big death trap?"  Yes, for a little more than two weeks, the nation stopped and thought about Seattle, and the weird thing was Seattle wasn't sure what to do about it.  The media machine works much better in Pittsburgh.  They've been there before, they've got a story to tell.  Please, can we stop talking about the fat running back now?? Seattle with its rain is a much softer city than Pittsburgh with its snow and steel.  It was the battle of catsup vs. software, Aretha Franklin vs. Courtney Love, Willie Stargell vs. Dave Henderson.  History vs. the future.

In the end, maybe Seattle's not ready just yet to take the step to the big stage.  All of this has been really enlightening for a city with what seems to be little civic pride.  IMO Seattle is a better place because they got to XL, but who knows, if they actually won maybe people would feel bad about protesting the tax to build the no hallowed "12th man" field that played a role in finally getting some of the attention it deserves.

The pot calling the kettle a similar color to the pot's.

Recently, a friend of mine has been increasingly harassed because she 
likes to ambulate her baby in a $900 stroller. If you don't know what 
I'm talking about, you might need to check yo self - I'm obviously 
talking about the BUGABOO.  The super cool, functional stroller with 
all sorts of features (including suspension) that any design nerd would 
love.  Some think it's the height of consumerism, others feel it's the 
height of design translating to everyday items - I think two things: 
leave my bitches be and I'm glad I don't have a baby because my wallet 
would be $900 lighter.

The more I think about it though, these people hatn' on Bugaboo 
probably already have a Dyson vacuum in their closet.  WTF?  Now that's 
a waste of money.  I'm sure that Dyson was driven home in their 06 
Hummer with a roof rack - so why don't we combine all of them for the 
mother who REALLY wants it all.  A Dyson vacuum with a Bugaboo sidecar 
and Hummer sensibility.  And by sensibility I mean jacked up super high 
to intimidate all the other babies on at the park.  Done and done.

Wow I'm tired.  I'm going head to my DWR couch and take a nap.